Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
