Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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