I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
so let's talk penis.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
