I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
