does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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