We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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