my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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