Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
