i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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