Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize