Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize