After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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