This girl is more easily done than said...
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
