if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
