She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
