Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Randomize