you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
my liver is dry heaving
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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