I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
im six kinds of drunk right now
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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