i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
