Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
