winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize