Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
