the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
There r osticjed everywhere
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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