Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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