As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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