And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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