I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
we made out on top of his cat.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize