when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
There r osticjed everywhere
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
