but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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