would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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