Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
