Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
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