I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize