I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
