Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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