but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
