Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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