He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
