He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize