I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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