I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
