Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
