either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
