Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
