i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
