So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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