He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
