More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
