Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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