Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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