Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I have peed in a lot of sinks
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
