I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
