i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
