We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I want to fling myself into the sun
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
