Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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