woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize