We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
