Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
it's like iHOP with fire
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
