I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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