Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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