whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
