OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
