you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
