I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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