If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
