I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
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