There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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