White coat. Heels.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
