He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
