this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
